All work and no play

Step away from the booze, take off your dancing shoes, forget all aspirations of having fun, pick up some books, and get stuck in to your studies...it must be the final year of university right?

You see the thing is, I haven't really lived by those rules. I've definitely worked harder this year than any other year, I've certainly recognised that this year counts so much more and I can count on one hand the number of lectures/seminars I've missed this year (actually I missed a lecture and a seminar this morning, taking the grand total to 6, but 'I can count on one hand plus one finger off my other hand' doesn't quite have the same ring to it does it?). And, without meaning to blow my own trumpet, I'm really pleased with how I've done so far this year.

But have I stopped having fun and locked myself in the library? No. I should at this stage probably point out that my easter 'holiday' will pretty much be spent locked in the library as I attempt to finish off and refine my dissertation until I'm happy with it. This really is the business end of things now and I owe it to myself to make sure I give the dreaded dissertation the attention it deserves in its final few weeks (I'm talking as if it's a living being, perhaps it's finally getting to me!). But, up until now, I'd have to hold my hands up and say I've failed to retreat from alcohol a great deal, I've got plenty of wear out of my dancing shoes and I've ensured that I've had more than my fair share of fun.

For me it's all about balance. It is completely correct to say it's the final year so plenty of hard work is required and undoubtedly studies have to come first. I want to get the best degree I possibly can and I don't want to look back and feel I could or should have done more. However, it is also the last chance to fully appreciate the 'student life'. And I've tried to make the very most of it from a social perspective as well. 'Work hard, play hard' is probably the most concise and accurate way to describe my approach to my final year at uni, and as I've said, so far it has worked.

Perhaps if I had spent more time locked in the library throughout the year I would already have my dissertation completely finished and polished off and would be looking forward to a holiday in the sun somewhere over easter - so the last laugh may not be mine after all. But if the next four weeks are spent working hour after hour, day after day, and the end result is a dissertation that is vastly improved compared with its draft version, one that I am genuinely happy with and I know is my very best effort, then I'll know I got that balance just about right.

With friends like these...

I was speaking with someone the other day about a friend of theirs. It turned out this friend wasn't really much of a friend at all. I will stop the details there as it is not my story to tell. But it reminded me of something I'd seen (probably on richard and judy - ssh don't tell anyone) or read about some time ago. It was this idea that the people in your life essentially fall into one of two categories; those that provide a positive energy source; and those that provide a negative energy source. Of course when put like that it appears ridiculously simplistic and also a little on the 'spiritual' side, all this talk of people as energy sources, we'll be onto the paranormal in a second...(maybe something interesting to write about soon in all seriousness - especially as someone who usually sits on the fence somewhat when asked what they 'believe in').

But when explored a little further perhaps it's anything but simplistic or spiritualistic 'mumbo jumbo'. Because when presented as 'positive people versus negative people' the obvious thought process is 'why would anyone choose to have negative people in their lives?' However it is most certainly not that simple. We all have these negative, draining people somewhere in our lives. It could be a friend, family member, romantic interest, work colleague etc. For example; the friend that does nothing but moan about life, where everything is a crisis and it's all about them; the volatile relationship where you spend more time attempting to patch things up in pursuit of that elusive happiness than you do actually feeling happy; the person who does nothing but criticise you and the choices you make; the person that's your best friend when no-one else is around but will quite happily use you as a scapegoat to impress other people when they have an audience...these are all completely generic examples. I suppose if I, or anyone else for that matter, was to list specific examples of people like this then the list could quite easily go on forever.

Now compare such people with those at the other end of the scale. Those people who are simply always smiling; the friend who always has time for you when you need them the most; the uplifting person who quite literally lights up the room when they're there; the relationship where arguments remain few and far between, even after the 'honeymoon period'; the friend who points out your faults and their doubts about your decisions for your own good, but ultimately supports what you decide to do.

Now of course it is a rather simplistic concept to suggest everyone is one or the other, as with most things in life it's probably more of a continuum. But I bet if you think of anyone you know, it's probably not a very difficult or time-consuming task to figure out which side of the dividing line you'd position them on.

As I've already said, everyone has these negative people in their lives, and some of them are relatively inescapable. Family members, people in your wider circle of friends, work/class mates...and just because someone is ultimately a somewhat negative, draining energy source, that doesn't mean they don't possess other extremely attractive qualities. People aren't 2 dimensional characters and I'm not suggesting we should take the people that tend to drag us down and burn them at the stake. Variety is the spice of life and besides, someone that I find a pain in the arse, who feels more like a weight than a friend, may be someone else's proverbial rock.

But I will say this, those people you choose to have very close to you - the friends you stay in touch with for years; the people you socialise with the most; the people that you are most willing to give your time and attention to - just think about what effect they have on you. Do they cheer you up, make you feel good about yourself and the world, do they make you laugh and smile? If, in relation to anyone you'd consider to be a particularly close and important person to you, the answer to the majority of those is no, then just consider why you persevere with the relationship so much. These people are always going to be in your life, but how big a part they play is ultimately up to you.

Saturday Night Fever?

I witnessed an act of complete mindless violence when out in Bournemouth last night. 2 or 3 lads laying into each other with their belts buckles, resulting in one lad being smashed from behind (I'm not sure whether it was with a belt or a fist) and immediately hitting the deck face first. Luckily for him police were around and instantly got a hold of the other guys. I have no doubts that if it had happened down an alley somewhere with no-one else around he would have continued to get a beating whilst down on the floor and god knows how it may have turned out.

Like most people I've had my moments when pissed, and there are a few things that I look back at and cringe over. But I simply cannot see the logic of something like that. These guys were clearly out for trouble and how that constitutes a good night is beyond me. It wasn't an emotion-fuelled incident in the heat of the moment - after all it takes a good few seconds to take your belt off and start swinging it around, especially when you're off your face (which I presume they were, if they weren't that's even worse).

And, incidentally, later on that night, someone hurled a glass out on the street. I'm not sure if they were aiming for a taxi or a person, but again it was just a mindless thing to do and just makes you question some of the people out there.

Now my idea of a good night out is a mixture of friends, dancing and alcohol - of which only the latter can ever be over indulged. Walking around the streets at the end of the night beating my chest like a caveman and looking for an excuse to start something, it just doesn't appeal to me. But it does to some. I don't know the specific details of that particular incident, but you see it all the time unfortunately. People arguing at burger vans, in taxi ques. People who kick off 'cause you knock past them in a ridiculously packed club, even when you quite clearly apologise. Personally I tend to find that if you're not out looking for trouble yourself then it doesn't usually find you - but on the other hand there are times when people are just plain unlucky and 'in the wrong place at the wrong time'.

Now I don't ever feel scared or intimidated on a night out. Like I said I'm not looking for trouble so it's going to have to come looking for me, and if it does there's not alot I can do (other than run or give as good as I get - depending how big/fast they look). There are a hell of a lot of things that could happen to me, I'm not going to waste my time worrying about them all. However if I notice these things and find it baffling to think that some people actually choose to be such tosspots just for the 'fun' of it, when I'm a student who's spent a ridiculous percentage of the past 2-3 years going out in that environment, you can understand the unease that some other people feel - the whole 'scared to go into my towncentre on a saturday night' brigade, maybe they have a point.

Interestingly though, and perhaps this is a rather biased theory, I find that I see far more trouble at the weekend if I go out (either in Bournemouth or back home in Swindon) than I generally do on a weeknight out in Bourenmouth - i.e. a typical 'student' night. Don't get me wrong I've seen some right messes out and about in the week, probably including myself from time to time, but in terms of becoming aggressive and violent, I'd say not so much. I think at the weekend you get the 'locals' out who maybe go out once a month or so and get really pissed up and just end up getting lairy. Students drink far more often and whilst I would never claim they 'know their limits' or 'can handle their drinks better' as such, I just think it's all done in a better spirit and they're more likely to end up pinching a traffic cone or a for sale sign than starting a fight.

At the very least that's a rather sweeping generalisation for me to be making and perhaps it's rather inaccurate, but either way, whoever these people are, I personally wish they'd just piss off and leave the people who actually want to have a good time to do just that.

Whose happiness it is anyway?

I'm not sure I've ever been this content - I use the word content instead of happy deliberately. I've had moments/spells of feeling on top of the world, like I was happiness itself. And like most peoples' feelings of absolute bliss these times have been down to aspects of my 'personal' life. Experiences, feelings, words, shared with people I've really cared about. But that happiness is hinging on something. Take away those people and it's gone. It's all about what is shared, what you have between you, it's not yours, not really. Sorry to throw confusing academia into this, but it links to the socio-linguistic concept of the use of the words 'having' and 'being', the way that Westernised societies adapt their use of language to imply that you can have (own) things that are really experiences (e.g. love, feelings, nature) - you can't. I'm not saying that this fragile happiness, an experience not a possession, is a bad thing. In fact quite the opposite, that's what it's all about. Nervous excitement, putting your trust in a person and situation, taking that chance. And taking that risk is always better than not.

But back to my original point, I'm not comparing me now to that kind of happiness. I'm talking about something different. I'm looking at my life, across the board, and I'm happy. And there's no single person or situation that, within reason, if it were to go wrong in some way, would have some kind of catastrophic jenga effect on my general happiness. The most 'fragile' thing I can think of right now is passing/doing well in my degree - but that is in my own hands. It hinges on nothing but me.

Just to stress here, I'm not turning into a cynic about happiness and sharing it with other people. Good god I'm only 20! Nothing can beat the initial excitement and intense happiness, followed by the general feeling of 'being with someone' (I initially wrote 'having someone' - then realised the socio-linguistic implications of this!) - and if that 'someone' comes along then great - but waking up with a smile every day without that 'someone' is a liberating feeling.

Not that I'm taking anything for granted. To return to the socio-linguistic point I was making earlier, life itself is one big experience, not something that you own.

So who knows what's around the corner, good or bad, but I feel more confident than ever that whatever it is I'll take it in my stride and keep on smiling.

Immigration, who's right? Who's left?

John Reid's latest plans to clamp down on illegal immigrants includes plans to send text messages to those who have temporary visas reminding them when they are about to expire and asking them, ever so nicely, if they could please make arrangements to leave the country. Admittedly this is only a small aspect of the plans he was putting forward, but even so it just seems ridiculous to me.

Regardless of where you stand on the debate of immigration, it seems bizarre to think that a text message will make any difference whatsoever. How many immigrants who stay in the country beyond their visa expiry date do so because they 'forgot' or 'lost track of time'? Those who stay do so because they want to stay in the country and know full well if their visa has expired. I can't imagine a text message from the Home Office is going to make them change their minds!

And those who leave the country when their visa expires would do so without the need of a text message. What is next? Text messages to released convicts reminding them not to reoffend? And you can imagine the excuses now. 'Oh sorry, my network's been playing up', 'I changed phones and 02 were in the process of transferring my number over to my new sim card', 'My inbox must have been full.'

What's also interesting is it is yet another example of the Parties' ideological positions being somewhat confusing. As BBC news online reported, good old 'left of centre' New Labour have launched a clampdown targeting "foreigners [who] come to this country illegitimately and steal our benefits." Sounds more like the BNP to me. Then take the traditionally 'right wing' Conservatives' response. Shadow Home Office Minister Damien Green 'said the idea that most illegal immigrants were in the UK "to scrounge off the benefits system" was factually wrong, saying instead that most were in the UK to work.'

This is undoubtedly the major problem with British party politics at the moment. It's all about point scoring, disagreeing with each other and trying to appeal to more mainstream 'centre' voters. Neither party stand for what they used to, leaving those previously engaged in politics and supportive of either party feeling somewhat disillusioned. And those 'floating voters' that this mish mash of contradictory right and left wing policies offered by both parties are designed to attract have grown savvy to these tactics and are just as uninterested in either party, and in some cases politics full stop, as ever.

Sorry I'm going to have to leave it there, I've got a text message from the Home Office...

Giving it another go...

I did briefly flirt with the world of blogging around a year ago (ish) but after 2 or 3 posts I never touched it again. However I thought I'd give it another bash, largely because it's dissertation time and all distractions are welcome!

I thought it would be interesting to look back at what I'd written last time around and see to what extent any of it still had relevance to me and the things going on in my life - however my original blog appears to have gone walkabouts for now so I will have to wait and see if and when it is recovered! I'll keep you posted - apologies for the pun!

Anyway, the big wide world is fast approaching me, within 3 months I will have finished uni for good. It doesn't scare me as such, although still not having a very strong idea of what I want to do in the long run career wise is a little unsettling at times. But more than anything it's just quite sad! I've had some amazing times living the uni life, a few downs to go with the many many ups of course, but hey that's life! Most of all I've met some great people. People I love to bits, people that just crack me up, people that I have the utmost respect and admiration for when I've found out some of the things that they've been through in their young lives, even people that fit into all 3 categories!...and of course a few people that just do my head in - but really there's a very low tally of those people - at the end of the day not everyone will be 'your kind of person' but there's usually a lot more beneath the surface and there are very few people, if any, that I genuinely dislike. After all difference is healthy!

Anyway I think that's enough thoughts for now....waffling is a strong trait of mine, one which could have the potential to get out of hand in this sort of context!